I recently spoke on what I call the Approval Aperitif — our desire to gain approval before we move forward. When I published my book, Nucleus: Power Women Lead from the Core, this is what I hoped to address for women entrepreneurs and all small business owners alike — what it means to work from the core, from the nucleus of your passion, regardless of the response or pressure from the outside.
In his recent post on Fast Company’s blog, Hugh Whalan, shares the story of Destination Entrepreneur Kristie Robinson who at 26 went from unemployed in the U.K. to taking her passion for travel in Argentina and with a mere $6,000 turning it into a small business publishing an ex-pat newspaper from Buenos Aires called The Argentines. How did she do it? She focused her passion and moved forward regardless of the obstacles, including the biggest obstacle, the one that comes from inside.
Appreciation has been known to be a motivator for people, but stopping yourself from moving forward because you are not getting the approval you hoped for is a block. Women especially can internalize and wait to find out how their behaviors are received, judged or understood before they move on an idea.
O Magazine’s primary Life Coach, Martha Beck, published an article this month on breaking the approval addiction, and I couldn’t agree more. The need for approval is an addiction. To take your idea from idea to action, you must break your addiction for approval.
My best advice is to focus on your core, the nucleus of your passion. First — approve of yourself. Have the courage to approve your own idea. Second, with your own seal of approval, find a mantra to use when negativity comes your way. Know how you will combat the complainers. Find one thing to say that blocks the naysayers, before their negativity can block your next steps. Finally, take a step and watch for the results. Whatever the actual results are, use as those are the energy to propel you forward. If even two things from your forward step produce a yield, then know you’ve been approved to move forward to the next step!